Dear Phone, I miss you and I'm coming to get you. Since you didn't ring and you were "unavailable" tonight, I can only assume that you have no time left on you and that you are desperate to be rescued. I will find you and bring you home...I will not pay ransom and I will not accept excuses or requests for further extensions of the loan. I have learned my lesson and won't ever volunteer to part with you again. I am so glad you're not an expensive version, but some of the data on you is very important to me.
Love,
your kind-hearted sucker-no-more hard-earned owner.
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