Hmmmmm

I have this friend who's always gently reminding me that I can master my life if I just master my mindset. Thank goodness, because I almost let my mindset get the better of me this morning until i managed to push through a minor little aggravation to achieve a solution.

I don't understand why i take things so personally sometimes, but when i have to redo something because someone else can't figure out her (or his) piece in the corporate puzzle with the ones already provided, I forget to think about what the other person's struggles might be and simply feel annoyed at the great inefficiency of the project or process. I catch myself thinking things like, sure, my desk might LOOK messy but i can find everything you need and do it three times while you're telling me you can't figure it out from what I already gave you. I don't even understand why i'm so proud or obnoxious; i think it's just because I feel like i could or should be doing so much MORE than what i am on a day-to-day basis that redundancy really bugs me. I was taught to do things right the first time and I find repetition to be a waste of energy. Whew. Thanks for letting me vent...next time i'll try harder to just breathe through it.

Alternate "Realities"

...so on my mid-morning break, i started smiling. Not just a little smile, mind you...but one of those really big, ear-to-ear grins. You see, i was emailing my close pals from college days about  an upcoming party, thinking about my disguise (I never give away the details, even if i choose early which this time, I haven't because then it wouldn't be a surprise). A pretty color with which i am not normally associated came into suggestion. I started toying with the idea of a wig or temporary dye and almost started giggling at the possibilities. It got me wondering...if i could be anyone, just for a little while, who would that be? Who might I remain beyond my current "me?"

Balancing Intrigue and Fatigue

it's a delicate line one walks at this hour (not quite midnight) after being up since...4? 3? I really don't remember. I know there was a garbage truck in the neighborhood and i think there was some seriously positive psychic energy swirling, too. Some of my stream of consciousness may seem disjointed. That's ok today--because there is a stream. You see, many things in life, writing included, are a PROCESS and the important thing here today is that there is movement on this continuum. I have gone from inaction to conscious, somewhat regular action. Consider that a step toward clarified vision, coherent content, and perhaps one day a unified, complete, marketable entity...I have no plans to turn THIS into a book but make no mistake, i've been planning to write a book or two since the 6th grade. This isn't the first time i have voiced it, but here i go again making public declarations for which i must hold myself accountable. Can you sense the determination welling up inside me? I will conquer the next challenge. You, dear reader, after surviving these "stream of consciousness" experiments just might get to help me celebrate future (but forthcoming!) successes. (you'll be able to tell all your friends, you knew me way back when; you told them so...)

Power Play

How's this one for taking back your power? I really dislike being vulnerable, and this morning I have chosen to be vulnerable publicly. It was a very necessary experience today, methinks. I hope your heart hears it when you are ready. http://pma4brightdays.blogspot.com/2011/10/welcome.html

That one's going to be my "focused" writing space for a while. If you like quick little flashes of brightness, check out my sporadic tweets on twitter. If you really like them, follow pma4brightdays and then go shine your light.

It's Official: Sometimes Pam Needs Help

I have determined that I do not have enough vertical proximity, even on a chair, to change the light bulb in the bathroom that hangs in a ceiling light. Thankfully I still have vanity lights but I now have increased motivation to clean the apartment, because I am going to have to [*gasp*] seek the assistance of another human being. The illusion of self-sufficiency is fading quickly and this concept of interdependence is now glaring through me in the shadow of my lingering pride. I might have to call that tall friend who's seen the states of my living arrangements before and still allows me to claim friendship. Life, what interesting lessons you teach me...

Current Events in Prime Time TV Dramas

I don't watch a lot of television. In fact, I almost gave away my second-hand CRT box this summer because I watch it so little. That's right; i never bothered to upgrade to the new flat fancy stuff. They're nice, don't get me wrong; I love new toys. I just can't justify the expense.

I have, on occasion, though, found myself interested in new shows on NBC (because that network is still available here without paying for signal). Their best ones are usually short-lived, but they are great for a few weeks. Last night I watched "Harry's Law" and found it particularly relevant and would recommend it to families and high school social studies classes. You can watch a rebroadcast online for free at any number of places, including the NBC network page or places like hulu.

The story dealt with bullying, identity (including professional, religious, gender and sexual) and accountability among a few other things. It was a lot of sensitive material to roll into about 43 minutes, but I really liked how the gravity of the situation wasn't minimized to make a "perfect ending". In a style similar to the endings of the old Law and Order episodes, the audience is left realizing there's a bit of a twist to something that seemed at first glance to be so clearly defined, and that the story is really far from over. I challenge you to take a look, and talk about it. It's something very real, very bad, and very necessary to address. What are we going to do to help all our kids feel connected before it's too late?

Friends Helping Friends!

I want to start a page for folks interested in helping my friends in their endeavors. For today I will start by mentioning a few current projects: Contact me if you would like to be featured on a future list or web page!

Were you or someone you know a Girl Scout? Want to share your story about how Girl Scouts influenced you? Please share your stories with Joan, who is collecting stories to help celebrate the 100th anniversary of Girl Scouts. (message me for her address).

Flower ID badge holders (https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2483934697134.149971.1215600433&type=1) My friend Courtney from college is making them for awareness and medical expense offsets.

AVON Breast Cancer walk: Please help me help my neighbors reach their goals. I know at least two Toastmasters colleagues (@Pamela Hernandez and @Stephanie Suida) walking in the next two weeks. (also have friends who are survivors of the disease or family members who have/had it). I have sample-size pink-topped bottles of bubble bath and a number of overstock items from my AVON stash. I'll donate all proceeds received by Halloween to their walks. Even better, you could send them some money or tangible support (raffle items, checks, a card of encouragement) right away!

Scentsy Wickless Candles (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kimberly-Devine-Brink-Scentsy-Consultant/153739448014256) from my friend Kim who is trying to raise money to adopt. I have a few of the fragrance bars as well, and like the AVON, will donate all proceeds to her cause.

Struggling to keep a positive attitude on tough days? Try Vitamin K Daily from my friend Kelvin. It's worth way more than he's charging. You'll feel so much better you too will be ready to make the world a better place again. Help him celebrate Vitamin K's birthday next week with a new subscription for you and a friend: (http://www.vitaminkdaily.com/)

That's only five of the many great ways you could help someone I know--you could try one each workday this week and take next weekend off to decide who's next ;)

Toastmasters Fever!

I have had the privilege of visiting a number of Toastmasters contests this past week. I have had so much fun! Last Saturday was our district committee meeting. Sunday traveled to Cortland and enjoyed a most beautiful day. Tuesday night i attended a club contest in Ithaca as a local dignitary; Thursday I hosted our area contest; today I visited my neighbors for a combined area contest in Endicott, and tomorrow I hope to visit another neighboring area contest in Norwich to show our district support.

After the contest today we chatted about a couple of fun ideas to share the story with a wider audience. There are now visions of a guest article in Toastmasters magazine as well as a published resource list for anyone who wishes to be more prepared for anything.