Dear [Proprietary Syrup that Would Have Alliterated]

your children's dose still tastes as gross now as it did 30 years ago, and it still makes me sleepy, but thank you for staying on the market, and more importantly, thank you for helping me to breathe again. Workplace cold? severe allergy attack? both? who cares, I'm going to be just fine.

Attitude Adjustment Time

If I sound petulant this afternoon, it is because I feel like i'm often missing out on "fun" because I choose to be responsible. This takes on several forms, but the one that contributes to my inner rage regards my weekends. I try to pack a lot into my weekends--errands, chores, sleep (I know, perish the thought), and more exciting activities like attending cultural, educational, or social events. Well, the rest of the world seems to think they can get by going everywhere sick so they can party later and meanwhile, I catch a stupid cold as a result of someone else not washing hands, but i'll be the one flat in bed on Sunday with a block for a head. I'm so tired of being tired, and so tired of paying the consequences of someone else's actions.

Dear Fashion Police: Please Help!

Dear Fashion Police, Ethicists and Good Citizens of the World: I need your help. There are those among us who continue to believe that stretchy pants are acceptable outerwear. Please advise them to the contrary. While i embrace them as absolutely fabulous items with which to layer a "look" or to wear simply for warmth, they truly should not be the main attraction of an outfit.  I find them more disconcerting than seeing flannel pajamas in public, which also should not happen (but usually at least cover the form adequately). Thank you most kindly, Good Citizens of the World, for assisting us all in becoming more presentable. Dearest Fashion Police, your job truly is a tough one and I commend you for your most noble efforts.